As it is (not) really Far and Away…

My life is a simple book...It is as simple as a rough sketch that you draw in your notes while a boring teacher stands up in front of the class and say blablabla but none of those things he says stuck in your brain …

I don’t have a complicated ambition or a sophisticated moment that gives me an inspiration to spin my world and brings me to U.S.. No bizarre political issue, no melodramatic-heroic explanation nor an overwhelmed experience behind it.

It took only a pirate DVD that I bought in the corner of a dry and dusty road in the southern part of Jakarta in a warm weather of May 2007 to inspire me to come to U.S. and take this good opportunity as what I am doing now. As simple as that…

The movie in that pirate DVD was titled Far and Away, a Ron Howard movie about a young Irish guy, Joseph Donelly (played by Tom Cruise) who escapes from his country, Ireland, with his landlord's daughter, Shannon Christie (played by Nicole Kidman) who he loves most. They want to come to America to build a brand new life. In the land of the dream, as they named America, they struggle to survive and win the day. It’s a nice love story and anyhow it stayed in my mind and my heart on how they fight for their dream; to have their freedom and love.

That time, I was thinking I want to be just like Joseph. I want to be someone who really fights for his dream no matter how hard it is. Even though I and Joseph have a different way in interpreting our dreams (but a little bit the same in interpreting love) and the fact that we live in a different era and culture, one thing for sure, in the end I want to survive my challenge and win the day like him.

Like Joseph, with all his hope of a brand new land in America, I had a dream to reach by coming to this country. I have done my first effort by landing safely here. I have won the first battle. And now, I want reach my dream, to have a piece of land. I want to have a piece of land but not the land in the America’s ground like Joseph’s dream, but here, in my brain. I want to have a piece of land inside my head that I can cultivate it with so many useful things.

Here, in America, I will have a chance to find many seeds that I can cultivate in my land. I already identified some of those seeds; a practical knowledge in my journalism background, friendship with people from other culture, and the most important thing is a lesson of life. Hopefully I will be able to plant them well and handle them with care so it will bring a finest result in the end.

Later on, after a year of my stay in America, I will harvest them carefully. I believe it will be more than enough if I keep all the yields from my land only for myself. Hence I will make a party and invite all people; especially those who I am sure will be able to respect the value of knowledge, friendship and the philosophy of life. We will have a party of brainstorming. I do hope they will enjoy those souvenirs from America.

An important note for me and I should bear it in mind is that not to forget carrying home some seeds to people, not only the yields. I will share with them those seeds and hopefully they will plant them in their piece of land inside their head.

I believe they will be amazed receiving seeds that I bring from America as it doesn’t feel like really far and away to have them.

New York, wed. morning 00.56

Second Autumn in Delft

Not the first. But sometimes, I think, I'd never learnt from my first experience. I always forget that autumn is the best enemies for my heart. The changing from green leaves to yellow and after sometimes becoming red is certainly the changing of the colour of my heart. Life is not green anymore, not also yellow, not red, but blue.

Stephen covey will hate me for this. He will say that I am sucks. He will say that I am only the phatetic looser who is just too reactive not proactive. He will probably say that I am a moron who never learn from experience though I read his 7-habit-book three times in the different time. And I met him once, face to face, on a press conference years ago.

I know myself very well. The second autumn here, in the middle of nowhere, where I think I might find peace of mind, the quay of the journey, the green green grass of home, but still, there is something missing inside. I miss the moment, some moments, which I think the best moment of my life. The warmth, the tenderness, and the peacefulness.

The second autumn in here, in the middle of nowhere. The same tree tells me stories of a farawell to their beloved sunshine. A farawell of not so long-a 4-5 months long- but tough. A days full of grey sky and whispering wind with uncertainty rain in the morning and the night that will be their best friend in autumn.

A mysery-lady marmalade in the lonely cubical room in the cubical building who came in the early autumn starts to dance at the very moment the wishpering wind blows into the cubic with its ghostly sound. And without I'm noticing, I start to dance with the Lady with the dance of exiling and alienating.

Some autumns are somewhat boring, somewhat beautiful, somewhat awful, somewhat cruel, somewhat terrible and somewhat dangerous. But one lonely grasshopper has to find his own shelter to protect him from the whispering wind. Not so long after that, the sun might still shine, and the green green days will return. And happiness will pick him up again...

Night in Delft, on the dance floor of mysery-and a deep missing of my two beloved creatures

Ik Heb Je Lief

'k weet niet of je zit te wachten
op een vriendelijk woord van mij
als ik jou oproep in gedachte
maakt me dat veel beetjes blij
voel het als ik jou zie zitten
als ik je alleen maar ruik
't zit in honderdduizend vlinders
die zoet zweven in m'n buik

'k heb je lief, m'n hele leven
't is veel meer dan "houden van"
't is alsof je in m'n bloed zit
ik zonder jou niet leven kan
jouw mooie ogen doen me smelten
't zet me zo in vuur en vlam
ik voel het enkel bij jouw aanblik
ik krijg het ook van Rotterdam

'k heb je lief
'k heb je lief
'k heb je lief
wat moet ik zonder jou
't zijn vier hele kleine woordjes
en al maakt je dat een beetje bang
'k heb je lief
vier jaargetijden lang

voel het heel vaak als jij opstaat
of na een zomerse bui
ik word al week bij de gedachte
jij die loopt in m'n lievelingstrui

't is mijn hand die jij plots vastpakt
als ik domweg naast je fiets
't komt ook, dat is nou het gekke,
zelfs door helemaal niets

'k heb je lief
'k heb je lief
'k heb je lief
wat moet ik zonder jou
't zijn vier hele kleine woordjes
en al maakt je dat een beetje bang
'k heb je lief14 bloemencorso's lang

ik proef het tijdens ons zoenen
of als je plotseling lacht
ik zie het in vallende sterren
na heftig vrijen in de nacht
't is die tinteling, dat briesje
maakt jou helemaal voor mij
ik denk als ik jou zo zie lopen
God, d'r gaat een engeltje voorbij

'k heb je lief
'k heb je lief
'k heb je lief
wat moet ik zonder jou
't zijn vier hele kleine woordjes
en al maakt je dat een beetje bang
'k heb je lief1001 nachten lang

één van mijn mooiste dromen
is oud te worden met z'n twee
dat die maar uit mag komen
ik heb je lief tot na de AOW

'k heb je lief
wat moet ik zonder jou
't zijn vier hele kleine woordjes
en al maakt je dat een beetje bang

'k heb je lief
104 kerstbomen lang

'k heb je lief
'k heb je lief
m'n hele leven lang

'k kan niet leven zonder jouw, schat...

Lebaran Dulu dan Kini

Lebaran...........

Dulu; keluarga, ramai, rumah, kue, salam-salaman, makan, senang, ketawa, silaturahmi, kenyang, keponakan, jalan-jalan, makan lagi, shalat Ied, lapangan tenis, ke tetangga, pake sarung, ketupat, sayur nangka, sayur pakis, soto, ngumpul, libur, kasih angpauw, beliin baju, lupa beli baju buat sendiri, menghilang dari kantor, sms temen, terima ampe seratusan sms ucapan lebaran, kacang lebaran, bikin rendang, takbiran, gak bisa tidur nyenyak krn takbiran tp gak papa karena seneng, and million else...

Kini; sepi, internetan gak jelas, kangen, sedih juga, keingetan terus, sendiri, komputer, musik sendu, shalat ied di gedung olahraga, manyun mulu, tidur, sepi lagi, nothing, makan indomie, pagi makan cup a soup, makan gratis, ngisi blog, rapihin baju, ngeliatin jaket baru, gak jelas mas...

what a pitty....

The Child in Me

Sometimes I wonder that the child in me: he never really grows older. Stays the same, remains the same, and always be the same, even though he'd been passing so many changes in life.

He is still the child I used to know. The spoiled one but brave, the tough one but sensitive, and the innocent one but tricky. He grows in the long and winding road, but one thing for sure, he stays healthy and fat...

Once, he was crying in the verandah, when parrents no longer stayed together. Fragile, helpless and so deep in blue. He wished that he could fly to the sky to meet the angels and the rainbow that so flattered up there. And he wished to be landed in a different life with a happy ending scenario.

Now,
he is still crying in the balcony, staring at the stars and the crescent moon, wishing that he has wings that can fly him to a nest far across the universe, where he thinks he will find peace of mind.
http://littletom.blogspot.com/2006/09/child-in-me.html

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going

Seorang kawan dari Bhutan (baca: negeri entah berantah di kaki gunung Himalaya) selalu menuliskan kalimat ini dalam e-mail-e-mail-nya kepada siapapun. Biasanya, gak sekalipun gw ambil pusing dengan kalimat itu. Bukan karena kepribadian yang cuek bebek, bukan juga karena gak lancar baca-tulis, tapi memang karena gak ngeh aja. Dan males mikir, hiks (maklum, lagi kram otak)...

Satu kali, dalam e-mail-nya mengenai sebuah tugas, dia juga sempat-sempatnya menuliskan kalimat tersebut di penghujung suratnya (kayaknya itu dia bikin jadi template footnote deh). Hmmm, secara gw lagi down dan lagi sensitif dengan gejolak kepribadian (hare gene masih krisis kepribadian???) yang sedang hancur lebur, kalimat tersebut begitu terasa menusuk, nyindir bin nyelekit, lebih pedes dari kata-kata yang sering keluar dari mulut si 'tante brisik' di kantor 'om brewok' dulu.

Memang bener, kalau seseorang tau kemana dia akan melangkah, dunia ( sebetulnya Tuhan sih, bukan dunia) pasti akan memberi jalan yang menuntun dia untuk mencapai tujuannya. Hmmm, itulah, kalau memang diri sendiri aja gak tau mau melangkah kemana, lah jalan mana yang mesti ditunjukin sama si Gusti bin Maha Pencipta itu?

Kalau dipikir-pikir (akhirnya gw mikir juga, hiks lagi...), dalam setiap episode hidup itu ada tiga kegiatan utama yang mesti dipenuhi; merencanakan, melaksanakan, dan menikmati. Kalau salah satu gak ada, maka bisa jadi episode tersebut cuma menjadi sepotong episode kehidupan yang menyedihkan.

Merencanakan: bukankah hidup itu tentang mendesain sebuah lukisan sebagaimana yang pernah terbayang di mimpi-mimpi sebelum ini, meskipun mimpi itu adalah mimpi basah yang memalukan namun nikmat?

Melaksanakan: bukankah hidup itu tentang bekerja, bekerja keras, bekerja lebih keras, bekerja ekstra keras, dan bekerja lebih keras lagi, bagai seorang buruh pabrik yang bercita-cita membeli sebuah rumah megah di sebelah rumah Inul di Pondok Indah?

Menikmati: bukankah merayakan sebuah kerja keras merupakan kesenangan tiada tara, bagai merayakan kemenangan dapat lotre setelah ribuan kali beli lotre dan gak pernah menang? (Lotre masih ada gak sih? Kayaknya pas jaman Harmoko masih ngejabat aja ada begituan. Kalo di Amsterdam banyaknya lonte, bukan lotre. Hihihi. Sensor ah!!!).

Nasihat yang baik buat diri sendiri (yang lagi gundah gulana dan bermuram durja(na)). Mulai untuk selalu merencanakan segala sesuatu, melaksanakan dengan sebenar-benarnya dan menikmati semua hasilnya sebagai bagian dari proses kehidupan yang menyenangkan. Karena tanpa kehadiran salah satu dari ketiga hal itu, hmmm rasanya semua cuma bakal jadi hidup basi yang gak penting bangettt....

Lost in Moby

I do love Moby's music. His music makes me feel lost. One of my best friend ever told me that I seemed like a psycho for liking that kind of music.

Having a big apreciation to Moby's music, in his opinion, seemed just like i was trying not to be me !!! Hmmm, perhaps I am a psycho...perhaps i am not the person as people see, who knows...

The first time i recognized Moby songs was from movie 'The beach'. As the theme song, "Porcelain" sounds so convinient and it seems to be a trancient song in my ears.

It could bring me to somewhere that i never knew where it was...Although he was recognized as a famous techno DJ, "Porcelain" considered as New Age genre type of music.

And then, one day, I saw his latest CD album (that time), "Hotel", and I bought it ( pirates, of course...). Surprisingly, i like all songs in that album.

Some tracks, like Raining Again, Beautiful, and Where You End, are full of beat. But some tracks, like Love Should, Hotel, Slipping Away and Temptation, are having a melodious slow beat.

Also, once, a friend ever told me that in her opinion most of Moby's music ( i prefer to say his songs as music because more that half of his tracks are only electronized music) creates emptiness in your feeling.

To be honest, she's damn right, cause i feel the same with most of his musics. In Moby's, sometimes, I can feel the emptiness, worries, a not totally delightfulness, euforia, a bitchy feeling, a desperate measurement in a complex mix heart situation, deeply sadness, and of course, psychotic emotion.

"Love Should" can make me feel a broken hearted (even in fact I don't), "Go" make me feel that The world is a giant discotheque (even I am a geek who don't like that kind of place) that move around and round. "Anthem" which is suppossed to be a sad song, in fact, bring a sense of hipersadness that make me fly unconciousness. And so many feelings that come from his musics...

One thing that I like from Moby's music that he never keep the same type of beat in each of his track. All the songs are quiete different in rythm, genre and the beat ( yea yea, Moby plays a lot with the beat. FYI, he is a DJ...beat is his soul...)

I believe a good musician usually can bring people to a spesific moody situation. And for that criteria, Moby, in my opinion, do a lot of efforts in maintaining his musics as a trance agents of mood.

Then I finally knew a lot his songs that makes me setting my heart to his music. I think this guy is a genius in what he did. At least, he can make me feel lost in his musics. What a Moby...

Daydreaming, Job-writing and Reality

Dalam hidup, antara mimpi dan kenyataan terkadang hanya berbatas sebuah benang merah tipis. Namun seringkali kita merasa kedua hal itu terpisah oleh dimensi berbeda yang teramat sulit untuk dipersatukan, bagaikan air dan minyak...

Secara tidak sengaja saya membuka sebuah mailing list PPI India. Ternyata mereka memuat sebuah tulisan saya (I am an airhead journalist tho', kekekekek) semasa masih menulis di harian Media Indonesia, mengenai pengalaman belajar di luar negeri. Hmmm, that bunch of lie was there...hahaha.

Saat menulis artikel itu saya sama sekali belum pernah sekolah ke luar negeri. Pergi keluar negeri pun bisa dihitung dengan jari. Dengan berbagai pertimbangan, seorang redaktur menugaskan saya untuk menulis bagaimana cara mendapatkan beasiswa hingga cara survive di luar negeri.

Hahaha, saat itu, saya merasa tugas tersebut teramat sangat ironis. Betapa tidak, ketika saya hampir kehilangan harapan untuk mendapatkan beasiswa (karena sebelumnya pernah gagal mendapatkan beasiswa ke luar negeri), malahan saya diberi tugas menulis tentang cara mendapatkan beasiswa.

Bagaimanapun, tetap saya tulis artikel itu, dan di muat pada halaman suplemen pendidikan Media Indonesia. Dengan mengerahkan pengalaman orang lain, ditambah dengan khayalan (scholarship awardee wannabe!!), saya tulis sebuah artikel, yang mungkin oleh segelintir orang memang dipercaya sebagai cara sukses mendapatkan beasiswa.

"Simsalabim. Sebuah artikel tentang memenangkan beasiswa ditulis oleh seseorang yang gagal mendapatkan beasiswa dan tengah bermimpi mendapatkan beasiswa. Bahkan si penulis tersebut bertekad untuk menghentikan usaha pencarian beasiswanya jika kembali gagal mendapatkan beasiswa di tahun itu. "

Untunglah, tiga bulan kemudian, terbukti bahwa artikel itu ternyata bukan cuma sekedar bualan. Mei 2005 saya mendapat sebuah kabar baik, ...and daydreaming was finally not just a daydreaming...Hingga kini saya masih di Belanda.

Thank's God...Bukan hanya karena beasiswa yang saya dapat, namun juga karena bualan yang saya tulis dan dibaca jutaan orang ternyata ada benarnya juga, meski saat itu saya sendiri amat meragukan kebenarannya (hmmm, at least it works for me...hehehe). Jadi saya sedikit terhindar dari dosa membangun sebuah kebohongan publik atas sekian banyak orang yang membaca artikel saya.

For those who share the same dreams, it may works for you. If it is not, don't blame me...Thousands of way to reach Rome..You may find your own way, baby.

Just read the article, if you're interested...

Matahari, Hadiah Terindah dari Tuhan

Delft-NL, early spring, when sun finally showed up...

Baru ketika sampai di Eropa saya menjadi begitu mencintai matahari. Baru ketika menginjakan kaki di bumi makhluk berkulit putih ini, saya menyadari bahwa matahari tidak selalu hadir untuk semua orang di pelosok dunia, seperti yang saya pikir selama ini, sebagai seorang makhluk tropis.

Bagi kita yang tinggal di daerah tropis, matahari mungkin bisa jadi sangat menyebalkan. Tengah hari, ketika matahari bersinar terik, semua orang berusaha menghindarinya. Mereka bersembunyi dibalik gedung-gedung berpendingin, atau kalau terpaksa keluar, mereka akan bersembunyi di balik payung warna-warni, sekedar memalingkan muka dari tatapan sang surya.

Di negeri kumpeni ini, setelah enam bulan lamanya matahari bersembunyi entah dimana, kini dia muncul kembali. Orang-orang menyambut ceria. "....Spring is coming, spring is coming..." Sejak musim dingin dinyatakan berakhir dua pekan yang lalu, masyarakat disini seperti terlahir kembali.

Mereka keluar dengan pakaian baru. Jaket, sweater, dan baju-baju dingin lainnya sudah pasti masuk lemari. Kini, semua berganti dengan celana pendek, T-shirt, tank top, bahkan kaus kutang. Dan yang lebih ekstrim lagi, pakaian di beberapa tempat sudah tidak dibutuhkan lagi. Dua hari yang lalu, beberapa orang sudah mulai berjemur 'bugil-gil-gil' di Danau 'palsu' Delft.

--XXX: Speaking about 'bugil-gil-gil' itu, Kamis lalu (4/5), dengan malu-malu, saya bersama seorang teman dari Bhutan bersepeda ke danau buatan itu dengan niat memang memastikan apakah benar orang-orang Belanda suka berjemur tanpa sehelai benang pun disana. Dan ternyata, fenomena itu benar-benar nyata, saudara-saudara!!!!!!!!!

Mereka dengan tanpa malu-malu menatap balik ketika saya sempat 'ngelirik' (malu kalau menatap, takutnya malah dibilang pengen lagi. Padahal emang, kekekekek). "Kok saya yang jadi malu ya, padahal mereka yang bugil".

Si teman dari Bhutan ini bahkan sampai memalingkan muka di hadapan orang-orang bugil itu. Dia bilang, "Disgusting!!!!". Beda persepsi ya, kalau saya sih dalam hati bilang seru juga ngeliat begitu, rejeki, hahaha. Ancur gue (Nih anak alim banget. Ásli, seorang Budha yang baik dari pegunungan Himalaya)....XXX---

Balik ke topik semula, matahari, disini kafe-kafe pinggir jalan kembali semarak, setelah selama musim dingin sempat mati suri. Mereka (orang-orang Belanda dan turis eropa) duduk-duduk di cafe pinggir jalan, sambil menikmati secangkir kopi atau minuman dingin (harus bayar tentunya), dan curahan sinar matahari dari langit (kalau yang ini gratis, meski termasuk barang langka) .

Sepanjang Oude Delft sampai ke centrum Delft (alun-alun kota), semua penuh dengan manusia. Mereka bersantai, kongkow-kongkow bersama kawan-kawan atau pasangan, menikmati si saudara tua kita, sang surya, yang sudah enam bulan lamanya menghilang.

Selama enam bulan lamanya hidup dalam kungkungan jaket, rasanya nyaman sekali keluar tanpa jaket dan sweater. Hmm, saya bisa keluar dengan Polo shirt hijau lumut yang baru saja saya beli di toko Hmm, keceriaan spring (dan beberapa waktu ke depan summer) ini cuma karena kehadiran si saudara tua kita, sang surya, buah karya Tuhan yang maha agung. Kalau saja matahari tak pernah ada, mungkin hidup tak akan seceria hari-hari ini (scientifically, bukan hanya tidak ceria, bahkan manusia gak akan survive tauk, hehehe). Now, I think I m in love with the sun....

Thank's to Mr Phlegmatic

8:23 AM, Delft...

Life was just starting . It suppossed to be a high busy thursday, where routine was all around. But in fact, it was just a cold quiet morning where only few people I met along the streets, walked in silence, tried to reach their destination just on time.

What kind of crowd could I expect from a small old city like Delft...

Morning statistics class. damn...I took my weird yellow bike and rode it in hurry to reach my destination ASAP. I was so sleepy actually.

But negotiation with my laziness is somehow impossible. There won't be a win-win solution. So, I have to be tough and cruel with Mr sleepy. No need to argue...

I didn't hope too much it would be a beautiful sunshower morning. It was dark. Full of smog...I was riding thru' a long barricade of smog as if I lived in a fairy tale kingdom where Sleeping Beauty and her seven dwarfs also lived there as my neighbour.

Mina krusemanstraat, Canalwegstraat, and finally reached Phoenixstraat. It took only 5 minutes riding for 2,0 km distance.

On October last year, when I just started to ride my bike, it took more or less 15 minutes for the same distance. Now, sometimes it can be less than than 5 minutes.

8:45 AM

The class started. It was ended on 5:30 PM, with some assignment as an extra bonus for the following night. My head was full. My brain was going to explode...

That's it. That's life for today, and yesterday, a week ago, tomorrow, two days later, a week later, and so on...It even can be a very very boring day sometimes...

I realized my life in here was already turned to be a routine. I have lost my touristic period and drown in a hectic kind life. Although I still fascinated by the beauty of Delft, but life was just too full with so many 'have to do' stuffs that left nothing for me but busy mind. Most of the time, lately, I forgot to engulf those beauty ...

I was talking to myself...

My Choleric said, "This is a high time. Achieve something from this big work!". My Sanguine told me, "Oh my God, find a nice place to hide and then forget it". Melancholic in me got busy preparing some schedule and never stop worrying.

But the wise guy in me, my Mr Phlegmatic, said the key words "Get used with it...no problem..."

That was the most comfortable words that I wanted to hear...Thanks, Mr Phlegmatic. Your words relieved my tense...

Paris, France: Gorgeous Ever After

Bizzare Love Triangle...

I am in love with Brussels, but at the same time i'm also in love with Paris, France. Both of them are amazing...

Paris is just like Paris does. It's kind of romantic town. I suggest you not to come alone to Paris. That is awful. It was fashionably irresistible, where love is in the air. But, actually, I ain't got anything in the air, except extremely cold air!!!!!!!!!hahaha...what a shame of me...

By the time I was standing under Eiffel, I was shaking. Happy, because for all this time I just saw it and never touch or reach it. Even Eiffel just a bunch of iron, but If you see such a huge thing like that, you will feel that iron is marvelous. Eiffel, I'm (not) in love...(too bad)

One of place that I love most in Paris was Musse d'Louvre, which I only knew it previously from 'Da Vinci Code'. It was a very big museum with tons of arts.

I just still wondering how come 'Monalisa's mysterious smile in Louvre could atrract millions of peple to come and visit her. For me, Monalisa just a 'fat chubby misserable' middle aged women who accidentally being drawed by an accidentally famous painter too.

But, life is fair. You don't (always) have to be a damn pretty person just to become famous. Viva ugly duckling...

Although Louvre is an interesting place to visit, but I bet for some people it become an unconvinient place because it was so crowded all the time. I felt like visiting an open market rather than a museum, because so many people visit Louvre, and there was a very long line in the entrance.

Does everybody (excluded me) really love arts? If it is, what an artistic world that we have !!!

For a more convinient one day visit, I think Musse d'Orsay is a good choice. It is not as big as huge Louvre, but have a good quality. Monet, Whistler, Moreau, Courbet, van Gogh, etc, are all in 'd'Orsay.

The one that I love most is James Abbot McNeill Whistler "Arrangement in Grey and Black: Portrait of The Painter's Mother" or so called "Whistler's Mother". If you see Mr Bean 'The Movie', you will soon recognized this painting.

Still more plenty of beautiful places in Paris. Two of them are 'Sacre Cour' and 'Notre Dame'. Both are old churches with amazing architectural building. Sacre Cour was built in a high place, so visitors have to climb up to visit this place.

If you take a glance, it just look like a mosque. And inside, it had a very beautiful ceiling painting and statues.

If you already knew the story of Hunchback of Notre Dame, you will soon recognize that the church was the place where the hunchback lived. Still left a big question in my head after visiting the Notre Dame, why a sacred place like that have a very scary architecture and ornaments...

There were wolf statues everywhere and ghostly statues. I bet lots of people don't wanna thru' that church during midnight. Especially during winter, It seemed more spooky than usual...

Paris is somehow beautiful, whereever you go in that city. One thing for sure, don't forget to bring someone to love if you visit Paris...That is my most important advice for everybody.....

2 days after paris trip

I Love You This Much

tiga hari menjelang,
kau akan datang padaku
memandangiku,
bersimpuh,
menangis,
dan berkata,
"tolol, tali itu cukup kuat untuk patahkan lehermu.."


lalu kau timbun aku,
dan aku masih menyayangimu,
meski aku sendiri
meratapimu dari dalam.

stupid true lover