August 27, 2006

The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going

Seorang kawan dari Bhutan (baca: negeri entah berantah di kaki gunung Himalaya) selalu menuliskan kalimat ini dalam e-mail-e-mail-nya kepada siapapun. Biasanya, gak sekalipun gw ambil pusing dengan kalimat itu. Bukan karena kepribadian yang cuek bebek, bukan juga karena gak lancar baca-tulis, tapi memang karena gak ngeh aja. Dan males mikir, hiks (maklum, lagi kram otak)...

Satu kali, dalam e-mail-nya mengenai sebuah tugas, dia juga sempat-sempatnya menuliskan kalimat tersebut di penghujung suratnya (kayaknya itu dia bikin jadi template footnote deh). Hmmm, secara gw lagi down dan lagi sensitif dengan gejolak kepribadian (hare gene masih krisis kepribadian???) yang sedang hancur lebur, kalimat tersebut begitu terasa menusuk, nyindir bin nyelekit, lebih pedes dari kata-kata yang sering keluar dari mulut si 'tante brisik' di kantor 'om brewok' dulu.

Memang bener, kalau seseorang tau kemana dia akan melangkah, dunia ( sebetulnya Tuhan sih, bukan dunia) pasti akan memberi jalan yang menuntun dia untuk mencapai tujuannya. Hmmm, itulah, kalau memang diri sendiri aja gak tau mau melangkah kemana, lah jalan mana yang mesti ditunjukin sama si Gusti bin Maha Pencipta itu?

Kalau dipikir-pikir (akhirnya gw mikir juga, hiks lagi...), dalam setiap episode hidup itu ada tiga kegiatan utama yang mesti dipenuhi; merencanakan, melaksanakan, dan menikmati. Kalau salah satu gak ada, maka bisa jadi episode tersebut cuma menjadi sepotong episode kehidupan yang menyedihkan.

Merencanakan: bukankah hidup itu tentang mendesain sebuah lukisan sebagaimana yang pernah terbayang di mimpi-mimpi sebelum ini, meskipun mimpi itu adalah mimpi basah yang memalukan namun nikmat?

Melaksanakan: bukankah hidup itu tentang bekerja, bekerja keras, bekerja lebih keras, bekerja ekstra keras, dan bekerja lebih keras lagi, bagai seorang buruh pabrik yang bercita-cita membeli sebuah rumah megah di sebelah rumah Inul di Pondok Indah?

Menikmati: bukankah merayakan sebuah kerja keras merupakan kesenangan tiada tara, bagai merayakan kemenangan dapat lotre setelah ribuan kali beli lotre dan gak pernah menang? (Lotre masih ada gak sih? Kayaknya pas jaman Harmoko masih ngejabat aja ada begituan. Kalo di Amsterdam banyaknya lonte, bukan lotre. Hihihi. Sensor ah!!!).

Nasihat yang baik buat diri sendiri (yang lagi gundah gulana dan bermuram durja(na)). Mulai untuk selalu merencanakan segala sesuatu, melaksanakan dengan sebenar-benarnya dan menikmati semua hasilnya sebagai bagian dari proses kehidupan yang menyenangkan. Karena tanpa kehadiran salah satu dari ketiga hal itu, hmmm rasanya semua cuma bakal jadi hidup basi yang gak penting bangettt....

May 15, 2006

Lost in Moby

I do love Moby's music. His music makes me feel lost. One of my best friend ever told me that I seemed like a psycho for liking that kind of music.
Having a big apreciation to Moby's music, in his opinion, seemed just like i was trying not to be me !!! Hmmm, perhaps I am a psycho...perhaps i am not the person as people see, who knows...

The first time i recognized Moby songs was from movie 'The beach'. As the theme song, "Porcelain" sounds so convinient and it seems to be a trancient song in my ears.
It could bring me to somewhere that i never knew where it was...Although he was recognized as a famous techno DJ, "Porcelain" considered as New Age genre type of music.

And then, one day, I saw his latest CD album (that time), "Hotel", and I bought it ( pirates, of course...). Surprisingly, i like all songs in that album.
Some tracks, like Raining Again, Beautiful, and Where You End, are full of beat. But some tracks, like Love Should, Hotel, Slipping Away and Temptation, are having a melodious slow beat.

Also, once, a friend ever told me that in her opinion most of Moby's music ( i prefer to say his songs as music because more that half of his tracks are only electronized music) creates emptiness in your feeling.

To be honest, she's damn right, cause i feel the same with most of his musics. In Moby's, sometimes, I can feel the emptiness, worries, a not totally delightfulness, euforia, a bitchy feeling, a desperate measurement in a complex mix heart situation, deeply sadness, and of course, psychotic emotion.

"Love Should" can make me feel a broken hearted (even in fact I don't), "Go" make me feel that The world is a giant discotheque (even I am a geek who don't like that kind of place) that move around and round. "Anthem" which is suppossed to be a sad song, in fact, bring a sense of hipersadness that make me fly unconciousness. And so many feelings that come from his musics...

One thing that I like from Moby's music that he never keep the same type of beat in each of his track. All the songs are quiete different in rythm, genre and the beat ( yea yea, Moby plays a lot with the beat. FYI, he is a DJ...beat is his soul...)

I believe a good musician usually can bring people to a spesific moody situation. And for that criteria, Moby, in my opinion, do a lot of efforts in maintaining his musics as a trance agents of mood.

Then I finally knew a lot his songs that makes me setting my heart to his music. I think this guy is a genius in what he did. At least, he can make me feel lost in his musics. What a Moby...

May 14, 2006

Daydreaming, Job-writing and Reality

Dalam hidup, antara mimpi dan kenyataan terkadang hanya berbatas sebuah benang merah tipis. Namun seringkali kita merasa kedua hal itu terpisah oleh dimensi berbeda yang teramat sulit untuk dipersatukan, bagaikan air dan minyak...
Secara tidak sengaja saya membuka sebuah mailing list PPI India. Ternyata mereka memuat sebuah tulisan saya (I am an airhead journalist tho', kekekekek) semasa masih menulis di harian Media Indonesia, mengenai pengalaman belajar di luar negeri. Hmmm, that bunch of lie was there...hahaha.
Saat menulis artikel itu saya sama sekali belum pernah sekolah ke luar negeri. Pergi keluar negeri pun bisa dihitung dengan jari. Dengan berbagai pertimbangan, seorang redaktur menugaskan saya untuk menulis bagaimana cara mendapatkan beasiswa hingga cara survive di luar negeri.
Hahaha, saat itu, saya merasa tugas tersebut teramat sangat ironis. Betapa tidak, ketika saya hampir kehilangan harapan untuk mendapatkan beasiswa (karena sebelumnya pernah gagal mendapatkan beasiswa ke luar negeri), malahan saya diberi tugas menulis tentang cara mendapatkan beasiswa.
Bagaimanapun, tetap saya tulis artikel itu, dan di muat pada halaman suplemen pendidikan Media Indonesia. Dengan mengerahkan pengalaman orang lain, ditambah dengan khayalan (scholarship awardee wannabe!!), saya tulis sebuah artikel, yang mungkin oleh segelintir orang memang dipercaya sebagai cara sukses mendapatkan beasiswa.
"Simsalabim. Sebuah artikel tentang memenangkan beasiswa ditulis oleh seseorang yang gagal mendapatkan beasiswa dan tengah bermimpi mendapatkan beasiswa. Bahkan si penulis tersebut bertekad untuk menghentikan usaha pencarian beasiswanya jika kembali gagal mendapatkan beasiswa di tahun itu. "
Untunglah, tiga bulan kemudian, terbukti bahwa artikel itu ternyata bukan cuma sekedar bualan. Mei 2005 saya mendapat sebuah kabar baik, ...and daydreaming was finally not just a daydreaming...Hingga kini saya masih di Belanda.
Thank's God...Bukan hanya karena beasiswa yang saya dapat, namun juga karena bualan yang saya tulis dan dibaca jutaan orang ternyata ada benarnya juga, meski saat itu saya sendiri amat meragukan kebenarannya (hmmm, at least it works for me...hehehe). Jadi saya sedikit terhindar dari dosa membangun sebuah kebohongan publik atas sekian banyak orang yang membaca artikel saya.
For those who share the same dreams, it may works for you. If it is not, don't blame me...Thousands of way to reach Rome..You may find your own way, baby.
Just read the article, if you're interested...

May 06, 2006

Matahari, Hadiah Terindah dari Tuhan

Delft-NL, early spring, when sun finally showed up...

Baru ketika sampai di Eropa saya menjadi begitu mencintai matahari. Baru ketika menginjakan kaki di bumi makhluk berkulit putih ini, saya menyadari bahwa matahari tidak selalu hadir untuk semua orang di pelosok dunia, seperti yang saya pikir selama ini, sebagai seorang makhluk tropis.

Bagi kita yang tinggal di daerah tropis, matahari mungkin bisa jadi sangat menyebalkan. Tengah hari, ketika matahari bersinar terik, semua orang berusaha menghindarinya. Mereka bersembunyi dibalik gedung-gedung berpendingin, atau kalau terpaksa keluar, mereka akan bersembunyi di balik payung warna-warni, sekedar memalingkan muka dari tatapan sang surya.

Di negeri kumpeni ini, setelah enam bulan lamanya matahari bersembunyi entah dimana, kini dia muncul kembali. Orang-orang menyambut ceria. "....Spring is coming, spring is coming..." Sejak musim dingin dinyatakan berakhir dua pekan yang lalu, masyarakat disini seperti terlahir kembali.

Mereka keluar dengan pakaian baru. Jaket, sweater, dan baju-baju dingin lainnya sudah pasti masuk lemari. Kini, semua berganti dengan celana pendek, T-shirt, tank top, bahkan kaus kutang. Dan yang lebih ekstrim lagi, pakaian di beberapa tempat sudah tidak dibutuhkan lagi. Dua hari yang lalu, beberapa orang sudah mulai berjemur 'bugil-gil-gil' di Danau 'palsu' Delft.

--XXX: Speaking about 'bugil-gil-gil' itu, Kamis lalu (4/5), dengan malu-malu, saya bersama seorang teman dari Bhutan bersepeda ke danau buatan itu dengan niat memang memastikan apakah benar orang-orang Belanda suka berjemur tanpa sehelai benang pun disana. Dan ternyata, fenomena itu benar-benar nyata, saudara-saudara!!!!!!!!!

Mereka dengan tanpa malu-malu menatap balik ketika saya sempat 'ngelirik' (malu kalau menatap, takutnya malah dibilang pengen lagi. Padahal emang, kekekekek). "Kok saya yang jadi malu ya, padahal mereka yang bugil".
Si teman dari Bhutan ini bahkan sampai memalingkan muka di hadapan orang-orang bugil itu. Dia bilang, "Disgusting!!!!". Beda persepsi ya, kalau saya sih dalam hati bilang seru juga ngeliat begitu, rejeki, hahaha. Ancur gue (Nih anak alim banget. Ásli, seorang Budha yang baik dari pegunungan Himalaya)....XXX---

Balik ke topik semula, matahari, disini kafe-kafe pinggir jalan kembali semarak, setelah selama musim dingin sempat mati suri. Mereka (orang-orang Belanda dan turis eropa) duduk-duduk di cafe pinggir jalan, sambil menikmati secangkir kopi atau minuman dingin (harus bayar tentunya), dan curahan sinar matahari dari langit (kalau yang ini gratis, meski termasuk barang langka) .
Sepanjang Oude Delft sampai ke centrum Delft (alun-alun kota), semua penuh dengan manusia. Mereka bersantai, kongkow-kongkow bersama kawan-kawan atau pasangan, menikmati si saudara tua kita, sang surya, yang sudah enam bulan lamanya menghilang.
Selama enam bulan lamanya hidup dalam kungkungan jaket, rasanya nyaman sekali keluar tanpa jaket dan sweater. Hmm, saya bisa keluar dengan Polo shirt hijau lumut yang baru saja saya beli di toko Hmm, keceriaan spring (dan beberapa waktu ke depan summer) ini cuma karena kehadiran si saudara tua kita, sang surya, buah karya Tuhan yang maha agung. Kalau saja matahari tak pernah ada, mungkin hidup tak akan seceria hari-hari ini (scientifically, bukan hanya tidak ceria, bahkan manusia gak akan survive tauk, hehehe). Now, I think I m in love with the sun....

February 21, 2006

Thank's to Mr Phlegmatic

8:23 AM, Delft...

Life was just starting . It suppossed to be a high busy thursday, where routine was all around. But in fact, it was just a cold quiet morning where only few people I met along the streets, walked in silence, tried to reach their destination just on time.

What kind of crowd could I expect from a small old city like Delft...
Morning statistics class. damn...I took my weird yellow bike and rode it in hurry to reach my destination ASAP. I was so sleepy actually.

But negotiation with my laziness is somehow impossible. There won't be a win-win solution. So, I have to be tough and cruel with Mr sleepy. No need to argue...

I didn't hope too much it would be a beautiful sunshower morning. It was dark. Full of smog...I was riding thru' a long barricade of smog as if I lived in a fairy tale kingdom where Sleeping Beauty and her seven dwarfs also lived there as my neighbour.
Mina krusemanstraat, Canalwegstraat, and finally reached Phoenixstraat. It took only 5 minutes riding for 2,0 km distance.

On October last year, when I just started to ride my bike, it took more or less 15 minutes for the same distance. Now, sometimes it can be less than than 5 minutes.

8:45 AM
The class started. It was ended on 5:30 PM, with some assignment as an extra bonus for the following night. My head was full. My brain was going to explode...

That's it. That's life for today, and yesterday, a week ago, tomorrow, two days later, a week later, and so on...It even can be a very very boring day sometimes...

I realized my life in here was already turned to be a routine. I have lost my touristic period and drown in a hectic kind life. Although I still fascinated by the beauty of Delft, but life was just too full with so many 'have to do' stuffs that left nothing for me but busy mind. Most of the time, lately, I forgot to engulf those beauty ...
I was talking to myself...

My Choleric said, "This is a high time. Achieve something from this big work!". My Sanguine told me, "Oh my God, find a nice place to hide and then forget it". Melancholic in me got busy preparing some schedule and never stop worrying.
But the wise guy in me, my Mr Phlegmatic, said the key words "Get used with it...no problem..."

That was the most comfortable words that I wanted to hear...Thanks, Mr Phlegmatic. Your words relieved my tense...

January 01, 2006

Paris, France: Gorgeous Ever After

Bizzare Love Triangle...

I am in love with Brussels, but at the same time i'm also in love with Paris, France. Both of them are amazing...

Paris is just like Paris does. It's kind of romantic town. I suggest you not to come alone to Paris. That is awful. It was fashionably irresistible, where love is in the air. But, actually, I ain't got anything in the air, except extremely cold air!!!!!!!!!hahaha...what a shame of me...

By the time I was standing under Eiffel, I was shaking. Happy, because for all this time I just saw it and never touch or reach it. Even Eiffel just a bunch of iron, but If you see such a huge thing like that, you will feel that iron is marvelous. Eiffel, I'm (not) in love...(too bad)

One of place that I love most in Paris was Musse d'Louvre, which I only knew it previously from 'Da Vinci Code'. It was a very big museum with tons of arts.

I just still wondering how come 'Monalisa's mysterious smile in Louvre could atrract millions of peple to come and visit her. For me, Monalisa just a 'fat chubby misserable' middle aged women who accidentally being drawed by an accidentally famous painter too.

But, life is fair. You don't (always) have to be a damn pretty person just to become famous. Viva ugly duckling...

Although Louvre is an interesting place to visit, but I bet for some people it become an unconvinient place because it was so crowded all the time. I felt like visiting an open market rather than a museum, because so many people visit Louvre, and there was a very long line in the entrance.

Does everybody (excluded me) really love arts? If it is, what an artistic world that we have !!!

For a more convinient one day visit, I think Musse d'Orsay is a good choice. It is not as big as huge Louvre, but have a good quality. Monet, Whistler, Moreau, Courbet, van Gogh, etc, are all in 'd'Orsay.

The one that I love most is James Abbot McNeill Whistler "Arrangement in Grey and Black: Portrait of The Painter's Mother" or so called "Whistler's Mother". If you see Mr Bean 'The Movie', you will soon recognized this painting.

Still more plenty of beautiful places in Paris. Two of them are 'Sacre Cour' and 'Notre Dame'. Both are old churches with amazing architectural building. Sacre Cour was built in a high place, so visitors have to climb up to visit this place.

If you take a glance, it just look like a mosque. And inside, it had a very beautiful ceiling painting and statues.

If you already knew the story of Hunchback of Notre Dame, you will soon recognize that the church was the place where the hunchback lived. Still left a big question in my head after visiting the Notre Dame, why a sacred place like that have a very scary architecture and ornaments...

There were wolf statues everywhere and ghostly statues. I bet lots of people don't wanna thru' that church during midnight. Especially during winter, It seemed more spooky than usual...

Paris is somehow beautiful, whereever you go in that city. One thing for sure, don't forget to bring someone to love if you visit Paris...That is my most important advice for everybody.....

2 days after paris trip

August 03, 2004

I Love You This Much

tiga hari menjelang,
kau akan datang padaku
memandangiku,
bersimpuh,
menangis,
dan berkata,
"tolol, tali itu cukup kuat untuk patahkan lehermu.."


lalu kau timbun aku,
dan aku masih menyayangimu,
meski aku sendiri
meratapimu dari dalam.

stupid true lover